Shame & Humiliation In the Human Experience: Part II

by Barbara

Cactus blossom

On our journey in life, we are meant to experience shame and then to transcend it. Some of us make it in this lifetime and others carry it to their grave and then onto the next life. There is shame so toxic, such as the behaviors inflicted upon children in the form of abuse, incest, and other sexually related trauma. When the abuse is severe, children will distance themselves from these memories until they can one day face it and process it through therapy and/or other forms of healing. For people who carry a great amount of shame with them, life can be miserable. Their outlook on their life is bleak. Life is an uphill battle with defeat at every corner. These people need our compassion and understanding.

In her article, “What We Get Wrong About Shame”, Jane Bolton, Psy.D., M.F.T.,* shared that we can experience shame even as an infant when our mother leaves the room and returns to us. She explains as the mother who does not meet her baby’s eyes and make the connection upon returning, the baby experiences shame and displays it as the neck muscles weaken, the head drops down, turns the face from the mother, the eyes are cast downward, and even may drool. The mother did not meet the baby’s high interest in seeing her again. This results in shame and humiliation. Another point Dr. Bolton made in her article is that we can reduce shame inducing reactions by communicating lovingly while we are in conflict in our relationships.

One of the most intense humiliating experiences I endured in my adult life was during my second speech in a Toast Masters club. I literally choked up with fright that I could not utter a word from my vocal cords. I begged my fellow club members to let me sit down. They held a very supportive frame of mind for me, and lovingly told me to stay standing and finish my speech. If they had not been so supportive, I would have walked out the door in shame and anger directed at myself. Instead, I completed the speech and endured the pain of dying in front of an audience. Two weeks later, with the constructive advice from my fellow Toast Masters, I gave the speech with flying colors. I redeemed myself from my shame. Now, I see the whole experience as a lesson and a strengthening point in my life. It was love and support from others that helped me to heal the shame wound and continue my journey to be awarded Competent Toast Master at the end of the program.

Most of us on Earth have committed shameful actions, especially in our younger days. Somehow we manage to grow older and gain wisdom. We reflect back on those actions and begin the forgiveness work to set it right. It’s important to release shame and not hold onto it, because it keeps us at a very low vibration that blocks our abundance in health, wealth and relationships. Our view of the world in general is miserable and we are cynical and non-believing that anything good will ever come our way. Entities that don’t have our best interest at heart are attracted to us when we wallow in our shame and cleverly hide themselves from our consciousness when our shame is suppressed.

In my experience as a channel and healer, I have removed entities and residual satanic energies from a person’s energy fields. Once the entities are released, the person’s aura is brightened and their life blossoms into manifesting their heart’s desire. They feel at peace with the world and their circumstances. They see that all they have experienced was a lesson in loving themselves. We are here on Mother Earth to assist in her ascension. We help her the most when we raise our vibration and love ourselves.

Blessings and love,

Barbara Becker

*http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/your-zesty-self/200905/what-we-get-wrong-about-shame

 

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